On the first day of school, I think I remember asking:

 

 “When does school end?” 

 

After the first week of our senior year, I was already tired of everything. But there was a glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel: two beautiful weeks scheduled perfectly during the holiday season. Fast forward to December 17th: I could almost taste the freedom. 

 

I wondered, did the rest of the seniors feel the same as I? Or was I simply not built for this? As a result, I devised a research experiment. 

 

Hypothesis: Fraser seniors are looking forward to winter break, as it will be a nice period of relaxation from school.

 

Method: I went around interviewing senior students about their mental state as of December 17th, as well as their feelings towards the upcoming break. 

 

The results were… riveting.

 

Interview #1: ‘Panda’

I opened with a polite icebreaker, asking Panda how they currently felt, to which they responded: “I feel miserable.” They continued, saying, “I feel tired even though I sleep early---wait I don't know how early---but I sleep at 11.”

When asked about what they are looking forward to in the break, they replied: “I'm excited for like, the hangouts, and eating good food, and celebrating. But other than that, I have to work, Elisa!”

 

Interview #2: ‘Mr. Dawg’

Mr. Dawg stated they had felt similarly to Panda, but something stood out to me in their answer. They said, “I've been needing to use the bathroom a lot more recently, I don’t know if that's a stress thing or a mental health issue.” 

I replied, concerned, “Seriously? What are you eating?”

To which they responded, “I have above average bowel movements.”

When probed for more information about how they felt about the upcoming break, they said, “I love my cat, I love my family, and I love my friends. Friendship will prevail.”  

The interview ended early as they excused themselves to use the bathroom.

 

Interview #3: ‘FF’

FF reiterated the feelings held by the previous two, especially the fact that they felt tired. They voiced their disappointment in their revenge procrastination: “I don't sleep because of my own actions, but I want to sleep, so it’s all my fault.”

Furthermore, FF is excited for the winter break, however, “where is the winter?” They clarified, “I want to build snowmen and have snowball fights, but where is the ‘winter’? It’s just ‘break!’”  

When asked about their plans, FF said, “I will go to America. Freedom. Caw caw. Rahhhhh.” And then proceeded to roar. I ended the interview shortly after.

 

Interview #4: ‘Cockadoodledoo’

“I feel like I’m gonna fall off a bridge.” Cockadoodledoo responded instantly when asked about their mental state. They launched into a ramble of their to-do list: “My physics thing tomorrow. I just---what is an elimination reaction?”

Cockadoodledoo also expressed their feelings toward school in general: “I wish weekends [were] longer, and school did not exist, and I didn’t have to go to school, and I didn’t have to find a job in the future, and I could just live in a house forever doing nothing.”

When asked if they envy women from the Victorian Era, they expounded, “I don’t wanna do house chores, but like, I wanna be the Victorian women without chores. Without women duties. I just wanna be a person.” They paused, reconsidering. “I wanna be a cat or a dog, and just have someone take care [of] me forever until I die.”

 

Interview #5: ‘Chip’

Clearly an outlier, Chip cheerily replied they felt great! “I feel splendid, because I just finished two unit tests. I feel so excited to be here in this wonderful atmosphere surrounded by individuals who care so deeply about English and I’m so excited to see the presentations of my peers in front of me today,” they replied, beaming. 

 

Interview #6: ‘Bobby’

Bobby held a mix of the sentiments felt by Chip and the other seniors. Like Chip, Bobby also announced they felt great, as they were surrounded by like minded individuals. However, they broke down in tears of either laughter or the sadness repressed deeply within their heart. 

I tried changing the topic, asking about Bobby’s plans for the break, to which they stated: “I’m very excited about winter break because no school, and I get to go to Vegas. And Vegas is where people gamble instead of doing their English homework.”

 

Interview #7: ‘Blue’

Blue launched into their life story. “Hi guys, when I was born, I was a sad human being.” Following this, they told me all about their recent academic achievements.

60% - Recent test (pretty sure)

A solid 40% - Previous test

50% - Biology (probably) 

Blue, like FF, felt sad about the potential lack of snow on Christmas: “It’s never snowed. We’re not gonna get a white Christmas. We’re not gonna get a white anything, it’s all dreadful outside.”

 

Interview #8: ‘Mrs. Pig’

Mrs. Pig held almost the exact same opinions and mental state as the previous seven interviews. “ I really want to take a fat nap but unfortunately I have other commitments that I want to do, so I kind of can’t give myself too much of a break. But overall we’re thuggin’ it out.”

Mrs. Pig also planned to hang out with friends. 

To clarify, I asked if Mrs. Pig had any friends. At my question, they looked over at Blue and said, “I do have friends.” 

Blue shook their head gravely. “You are lying, [they do] not have friends. I’m not [their] friend.”

Mrs. Pig gasped dramatically, and I ended the interview before I got caught up in their brawl.

 

Interview #9: ‘Glink’

“I feel kind of crappy today because I had a math test, and I screwed up. Because what happened was, is that ‘semi-annually’ apparently means ‘twice in a year’ rather than ‘every other year’ so then I put one-to-the-half exponent rather than just two, and I was really sad.” 

Contrasting this sadness, Glink immediately lit up when asked about winter break. “ I really really wanna invite you to my house, and everyone else to my house. I want to have a party really bad. Is it going to happen? Probably not. Everyone’s busy.” 

 

Interview #10: ‘The Catcher in the Rye’ [REDACTED DUE TO IRRELEVANCE]

 

Conclusions: 

Fraser’s seniors are tired. 

 

They hope this winter break will have the winter component.

 

Watch out, America, Fraser seniors incoming, and they will roar. 

 

Semi-annually means ‘twice in a year.’

 

Friendship will prevail.